The best Chuck Norris jokes

One time Chuck Norris saluted an American flag and it blushed.
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Global warming is caused by transient energy leftover from Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.
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Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
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Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent. They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.
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Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
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Leonardo DiCaprio had to ask permission from Chuck Norris to say the famous line "I'm the king of the world."
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If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
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Chuck Norris is so sharp you can cut yourself just by looking at him.
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Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow.
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Chuck Norris once caught a cold, then he killed it!
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