Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water. The result is now sold as Red Bull.
Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
The city of Dallas wanted to name a major street Chuck Norris Boulevard but decided against it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives!
Chuck Norris doesn't expect the unexpected. He knows the unexpected.
When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech. He actually does it.
Chucks Norris's mirror is scared to look at him.
Chuck Norris tells clocks what time it is.
Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.