Chuck Norris does not need deodorant because sweat instantly runs away.
Chuck Norris can scratch sandpaper.
Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
Chuck Norris couldn't act in Titanic because he would have saved everyone.
Chuck Norris doesn't use OFF! Mosquitos instinctively know not to bite him.
Chuck Norris once killed a man in New York while practicing Bruce Lee's one inch punch... Chuck Norris was in San Franscisco at the time.
Chuck Norris can smell sound and hear touch.
Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort. Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
911 calls Chuck Norris for emergency.
Chuck Norris knows what color a smurf turns when you choke it.