Chuck Norris once had a bet with the Hulk, the loser had to paint himself green.
A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.
The sun is the burning remains of the last planet Chuck Norris pillaged.