The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.
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He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
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Alien from "A.V.P" is just Chuck Norris' Gecko.
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Trains stop at Chuck Norris crossings.
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During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3." All was good.
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Chuck Norris pours the milk first, then he pours the cereal. Then he places the bowl.
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When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball... the balls dodge him.
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Chuck Norris once walked in the opposite direction in the Running of the Bulls. The bulls turned around and ran for their lives.
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Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.
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Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, IT