Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
Spider-man can crawl on walls and ceilings, Chuck Norris can crawl on water.
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Do you know why the Earth's spinning ?
Because Chuck Norris is running on it.
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Chuck Norris is so sharp you can cut yourself just by looking at him.
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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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There are no weapons of mass destruction.
Just Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris became a firefighter, after hearing of his decision fire ceased to be an element.
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Chuck Norris does not cleanse himself with your everyday shower.
He uses Meteor Showers.
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Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics.
In the same event. From home.
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Chuck Norris can run a nuclear power station using a rowing machine.
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