Chuck Norris once had a bet with the Hulk, the loser had to paint himself green.
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A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are:
1. Heart disease
2. Chuck Norris
3. Cancer
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Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
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Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
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There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
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Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
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Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.
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The sun is the burning remains of the last planet Chuck Norris pillaged.
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