The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.
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Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris. He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
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Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
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The dark side of the moon is the side that cowers in fear of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not need a remote for his tv for all he needs to do is just stare until it turns on.
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Chuck Norris is the only one who doesn't have to tell PayPal to switch the funding source to his credit card.
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Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey. The country there now is only an impostor.
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Chuck Norris can toast bread in a freezer.
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Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
Vote: has 71.35 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

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Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
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