Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.
Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris. He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
The dark side of the moon is the side that cowers in fear of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not need a remote for his tv for all he needs to do is just stare until it turns on.
Chuck Norris is the only one who doesn't have to tell PayPal to switch the funding source to his credit card.
Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey. The country there now is only an impostor.
Chuck Norris can toast bread in a freezer.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."