There are no comets. Only people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked so hard that they are now in permanent orbit in our solar system.
Beetlejuice is afraid to say Chuck Norris 3 times.
Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.
Chuck Norris graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with an MBA - Mega Bad Ass.
Law of Gravity doesn't apply to Chuck Norris, he enforces it... with a round house kick.
Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris. He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
The dark side of the moon is the side that cowers in fear of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once played himself in Russian Roulette, and he won. No Questions asked.