The best Chuck Norris jokes

Getting your ass kicked by Chuck Norris? The only good news is you know when you will die.
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Contrary to popular belief there was a Chuck Norris sighting on the set of The Crow. No Lee is allowed to live when Chuck Norris is around.
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Chuck Norris doesn't jump. He moves the ground away from him.
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When Chuck Norris steps on a crack he breaks another persons mother's back.
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Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.
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The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
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Once an email was sent from LA to Washington. Chuck Stopped it at St. Louis.
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Evolution's driving mechanism is nature's desperate attempt to escape Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris burns calories, he uses a flamethrower.
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Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.
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