They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but even Jack couldn't avoid Chuck Norris' round house kick.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Chuck Norris' glare will liquify your kidney.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
Chuck Norris went to the virgin islands. Now they are pregnant.
Chuck Norris once won a drag race with a unicycle.