The best Chuck Norris jokes

They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Vote: has 80.85 % from 281 votes. Send joke:

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The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
Vote: has 80.76 % from 297 votes. Send joke:

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but even Jack couldn't avoid Chuck Norris' round house kick.
Vote: has 80.75 % from 192 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
Vote: has 80.75 % from 192 votes. Send joke:

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When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.
Vote: has 80.74 % from 76 votes. Send joke:

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Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Chuck Norris' glare will liquify your kidney.
Vote: has 80.73 % from 138 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Vote: has 80.72 % from 156 votes. Send joke:

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While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
Vote: has 80.68 % from 203 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris went to the virgin islands. Now they are pregnant.
Vote: has 80.62 % from 173 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris once won a drag race with a unicycle.
Vote: has 80.60 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

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