The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris is the only man who can put M&M's in alphabetical order.
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Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
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Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
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huck Norris was supposed to star in the tv show 'Man vs Wild', but the network did not want kids thinking 'lava is safe to eat'.
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Chuck Norris can smell sound and hear touch.
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Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort. Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
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Ozzy Ozbourne once bit the head off a bat. Not one to be outdone, Chuck Norris bit the head off Batman!
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Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
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Chuck doesn't have e-mail, he has HE-mail.
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Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby. Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
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