The best Chuck Norris jokes

Newton's 3rd Law never applies to Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris has a bone to pick, it's always the jawbone.
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Chuck Norris can make his own reflection vomit with fear.
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The supreme court issued a ban not allowing Chuck Norris to flex his muscles, for fear of public safety.
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Chuck Norris holds the world record for most push ups done in a hour, the number is all of them.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the DMV, they take a number.
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Chuck Norris can count the number of corners in a circle.
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Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand. That pirate is now known as Captain Hook
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Chuck Norris has never taken a test, because no one questions Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
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