The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris can hear the sound of one hand clapping.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
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When you google up Chuck Norris, he googles you back for revenge.
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Last year Chuck Norris won the prize for best float at the Carnival in Rio simply by walking in the parade wearing his cowboy hat.
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Chuck Norris dosn't need a gun, he points an says pow!
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According to CNN, Chuck Norris was commanding the SEAL team in Afghanistan. When Osama found that out, he shot himself in the head.
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Chuck Norris is not 70 years old. At age 60, he began getting younger. This is why he is actually only 50.
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Chuck Norris got elected for president, even though he didn't run for anything.
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Chuck Norris is so powerful he can jumpstart a car by attaching the cables to his chest hair.
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Chuck Norris reads with his eyes closed.
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