Guy comes up the hill, look up to the sky and yells, "God, I want to hear your opinion! Is Facebook harmful?" And response from heaven, "A moment, I just finish this status.."
I hope the next ridiculously popular Facebook trend is shutting the fuck up.
I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.
I don't always go to the gym, but when I do, I make sure Facebook knows about it.
Q: How do you get 15,000 followers? A: Run through Africa with a water bottle.
Dear Facebook, Everytime I add a girl you ask me "Do you know her? Is she your sister?"
Anyone remember the good old days before Facebook, Instagram and Twitter? When you had to take a photo of your dinner, then get the film developed, then go around to all your friends' houses to show them the picture of your dinner? No? Me neither.
Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg was recently hospitalize, because Chuck Norris poked him.
I posted a blonde joke on facebook accompanied by: "for my blonde friends... an apology". One of them responded. "You don't have to apologise for having blonde friends."
Facebook is like a fridge, you keep checking it and nothing has changed.