A husband asks his very ill wife at the hospital: Tell me what is your last wish? Nothing more, I just want to check my status on Facebook.
Guy comes up the hill, look up to the sky and yells, "God, I want to hear your opinion! Is Facebook harmful?" And response from heaven, "A moment, I just finish this status.."
I don't always go to the gym, but when I do, I make sure Facebook knows about it.
I hope the next ridiculously popular Facebook trend is shutting the fuck up.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Pornhub is Down, your mums Facebook will do.
I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.
Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
Dear Facebook, Everytime I add a girl you ask me "Do you know her? Is she your sister?"
Anyone remember the good old days before Facebook, Instagram and Twitter? When you had to take a photo of your dinner, then get the film developed, then go around to all your friends' houses to show them the picture of your dinner? No? Me neither.
Chuck Norris can check his facebook on a typewriter.