A husband asks his very ill wife at the hospital: Tell me what is your last wish? Nothing more, I just want to check my status on Facebook.
I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.
I don't always go to the gym, but when I do, I make sure Facebook knows about it.
Guy comes up the hill, look up to the sky and yells, "God, I want to hear your opinion! Is Facebook harmful?" And response from heaven, "A moment, I just finish this status.."
Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined. Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.
Dear Facebook, Everytime I add a girl you ask me "Do you know her? Is she your sister?"
I hope the next ridiculously popular Facebook trend is shutting the fuck up.
Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
Chuck Norris can check his facebook on a typewriter.
I have two accounts on Facebook it means I have two faces. It's really good because one is cuter to attract people.