Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
If you need Facebook to remind you it's your wife's birthday, I hope you own a comfortable couch.
I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.
Chuck Norris can check his facebook on a typewriter.
A husband asks his very ill wife at the hospital: Tell me what is your last wish? Nothing more, I just want to check my status on Facebook.
Chuck Norris has only one friend on Facebook: Pain.
Yo mama is stupid, she put a book in her friend face and named facebook.
Chuck Norris can block Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook account.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook... No one's his friend.
Dear Facebook, Everytime I add a girl you ask me "Do you know her? Is she your sister?"