Status I didn't fall down, I attacked the floor.
Boss comes up to an employee: "Yesterday you did a great job - in one day you managed to do as much work, as you did in previous month!" "Thanks boss, that's because Facebook was shut down for the whole day."
Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.
A new study found that more than 11 million people have quit Facebook in the last three years. And unfortunately, none of them were your parents.
Some people should consider having multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.
Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar movie collection except for one. he's never gonna give you Up
If you need Facebook to remind you it's your wife's birthday, I hope you own a comfortable couch.
A husband asks his very ill wife at the hospital: Tell me what is your last wish? Nothing more, I just want to check my status on Facebook.
Q: How do you get 15,000 followers? A: Run through Africa with a water bottle.
Chuck Norris adds Facebook as a friend.