Off the seventh tee, Joe sliced his shot deep into a wooded ravine. He took his eight iron and clambered down the embankment in search of his lost ball. After many long minutes of hacking at the underbrush, he spotted something glistening in the leaves. As he drew nearer, he discovered that it was an eight iron in hands of a skeleton! Joe immediately called out to his friend, "Jack, I've got trouble down here!" "What's the matter?" Jack asked from the edge of the ravine. "Bring me my wedge," Joe shouted. "You can't get out of here with an eight iron!"
What's a bee's favourite sport? Rugbee.
How did the blonde die icefishing? She got run over by the zamboni!
While giving a physical, a doctor notices that his patient’s shins are covered in dark, savage bruises. ‘Tell me,’ says the doctor. ‘Do you play hockey or soccer?’ ‘No,’ said the man. ‘But my wife and I play bridge.’
An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice: once before swinging, and once again after swinging.
What did the trampolinist say? ‘Life has its ups and downs, but I always bounce back.’ Tennis
A Yankee walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a cosmopolitan. The bartender looks at the man and says, "You're not from 'round here are ya?" "No" replies the man, "I'm from New Hampshire." The bartender looks at him and says, "Well what do you do in New Hampshire?" "I'm a taxidermist," says the man. The bartender looks bewildered, so the man explains, "I mount dead animals." The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar, "It's OK, boys! He's one of us!"
The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not too often.
Why did the football coach flood the pitch? Because he wanted to bring on the sub!
I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley.. She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, permanent."