How do you caculate the population of Russia?
You roll a bottle of vodka down the street.
What do you call a black woman who got an abortion?
A member of crimestoppers of america.
A woman is divorcing her husband on the grounds of cruelty.
His organ is so large it hurts her to have sex.
After she has explained her problem to a lawyer, he tells her that he’ll file her petition.
‘Stuff that!’ says the woman.
‘Why can’t you go round and sandpaper his down a bit.’
One dinosaur said, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Another dinosaur said "A non-renewable recourse!"
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I before E except after Chuck.
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Chuck Norris isn't on Earth, the Earth is on Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can blow smoke rings, but also smoke squares.
Actually he can also blow your face.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run out of bullets, bullets run out of Norrises.
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Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died?
Everyone at Apple are crying their's out!
Chuck Norris doesn't contribute to global warming, he exhales pure oxygen.
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