Best jokes ever

She only drinks to forget she drinks.
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More jokes about: alcohol
Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, military
A Preacher and a lawyer both go to heaven at the same time and the Preacher receives his gifts that he had expected and he sees that the lawyer gets this big house and pool. The Peacher asked God: "Why is it that I get the things I've wanted, but the lawyer gets all that?" God Replied: "He is the first lawyer to make it into Heaven."
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More jokes about: god, heaven, lawyer
Q: What do you call someone who doesn't fart in public? A: A private tooter.
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More jokes about: disgusting, fart
What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten? An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!
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More jokes about: age, animal, cat, kitty
A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?" The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had." The bartender says, "What do you have?" The guy says, "75 cents."
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More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, money
Why do blondes like lightning? "They think someone is taking their picture."
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More jokes about: blonde, weather
Old doctors never die, they just lose their patience.
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More jokes about: doctor, old people
A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver. "Mam, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road"? The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here!! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!" Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am... that's your air freshener."
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What would you do if a Blonde threw a hand grenade right at you? "Just pull the pin and throw it back."
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More jokes about: blonde