Hunter: What has given Mr. Bubbles nightmares since elementary school? Josh: Beats me. Hunter: Pop quizzes!
Did you hear about the blonde who thought Doris Day was a national holiday?
If you want to know God’s opinion of money just look at the people He gave it to.
An old man and his wife are having their first argument after many years of marriage. He says, ‘When we got married, you promised to love, honour and obey!’ ‘I know,’ replies his wife. ‘But I didn’t want to start an argument in front of all those people.’
Q: Why did the elephant paint himself diffrent colours? A: So he could hide in the crayon box!
Time travel is possible. But you must first get past Chuck Norris...
Chuck Norris can spell roundhouse kick with five letters: death.
Two halves make a whole. Two wholes make Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork... while it's raining.
An advertisement: I change 40-year-old wife to two 20-years-old ones. Do not offer four 10-year-old ones.