When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
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When is a lion not a lion?
When he turns into his cage.
For fear of Chuck Norris, his shoes tie themselves.
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After being shot by a criminal, Chuck Norris said... "that tickles".
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What do you call a black woman who got an abortion?
A member of crimestoppers of america.
A woman is divorcing her husband on the grounds of cruelty.
His organ is so large it hurts her to have sex.
After she has explained her problem to a lawyer, he tells her that he’ll file her petition.
‘Stuff that!’ says the woman.
‘Why can’t you go round and sandpaper his down a bit.’
One dinosaur said, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Another dinosaur said "A non-renewable recourse!"
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Yo' Mama is so stupid, you need to put your head up her ass to get her perspective.
The Matrix is a game on Chuck Norris' PS3.
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Chuck Norris can check his pulse by same hand.
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