An old man and his wife are having their first argument after many years of marriage. He says, ‘When we got married, you promised to love, honour and obey!’ ‘I know,’ replies his wife. ‘But I didn’t want to start an argument in front of all those people.’
Q: Why did the elephant paint himself diffrent colours? A: So he could hide in the crayon box!
Time travel is possible. But you must first get past Chuck Norris...
Chuck Norris can spell roundhouse kick with five letters: death.
Two halves make a whole. Two wholes make Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris created Heavy Metal when he was upset.
Moses did not part the sea. Chuck Norris accidently did while sneezing.
Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork... while it's raining.
What's the difference between a reindeer and a snowball? They re both brown, except the snowball.
Sliced bread is the best thing since Chuck Norris.