Best jokes ever

A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, "Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your trouble to bed with you." "I know," said the man, "but I can’t. My wife refuses to sleep alone."
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has 52.37 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, marriage, wife
My dad died on 9-11. He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
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has 52.33 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, terrorist
Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find an entire field full of carrots. They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, they find an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight. They screw themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, the rabbits get to talking. "I'm gonna go back to that field of carrots," says one. "I'm gonna go back to those cute little rabbits," says the second. "I'm going back to the lab," says the third. "I'm dying for a cigarette."
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has 52.31 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, food
Q: What is so ironic about Atheists? A: They're always talking about God.
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has 52.31 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: atheist, god
Whats the difference between Paris Hilton and a bowling ball? You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
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has 52.31 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall? Art.
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has 52.27 % from 160 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, morbid
They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history. At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
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has 52.26 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: black humor, history, mean, women
A nun with big boobs boarded a bus and sat near a dude. The dude kept looking at the nun's boobs. The nun realized this. She held her rosary and asked, "Are you looking at Jesus on the cross?" The man said "No, I'm looking at the 2 thieves beside him."
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has 52.25 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: dirty, god
There are four people from different counties on the Empire State Building. One is Japanese, one is French, one is Mexican, and one is American. They all want to throw something off the building that they have a lot of in their country. The Japanese guy goes first. He throws off sushi. There is a lot of sushi in my country. Next is the French guy. He throws off a condom. There is too much love in my country. Next is the Mexican. He throws off a taco. There is too much taco in my country. Next goes the American. He looks around him and picks the Mexican up and throws him of the building and says: There are too much Mexicans in my country.
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has 52.24 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: black humor, racist
Q: Whats the most popular pick up line in a gay bar? A: "May I push in your stool?"
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has 52.24 % from 189 votes. More jokes about: bar, gay
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