Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
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An old woman goes to the doctor's office.
The doctor gives her a checkup and says, "I need to do stool, blood and urine tests."
The woman says, "Well can I just leave my underwear? Bingo starts in half an hour."
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The Terminator said, "I'll be back" because he saw Chuck Norris was coming.
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How is parsley like pubic hair?
You push it aside to eat, and sometimes it gets stuck between your teeth after meals.
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What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur?
A stinkasaurus.
Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber?
The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.
What is slimy and wobbly, tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas?
A red jellyfish.
You mama's so skinny... she can hang glide with a dorito!
When Chuck lit a match earth saw the sun for the first time!
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Why did the horses kept saying orange juice?
Because a filly gulped to much orange juice that she turned orange!