Three little boys were sitting around talking about their fathers. The first boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings." The second boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings out of his nose." The third boy said, "Well, my dad can blow smoke rings out of his butt." The first and second boys where amazed. The second boy said, "Have you seen him do it?" "No," said the third boy, "but I've seen the tobacco stains on his underwear."
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
YO momma is so old, I slit her throat and dust came out!
Your momma is so old, I slapped her in the back and her titties fell out.
When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
Two men walked into a restaurant, the first one asks for tea. The second also asks for tea. "And make sure the glass is clean," he tells the waiter. When the waiter returns with the two glasses of tea he asks, "Which one of you asked for the clean glass?"
Chuck Norris can pull a hat out of a rabbit.
Q: What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent? A: A snake in the brass.
A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can skydive indoors.