Are you a candle?
Because I want to blow you.
Q: Do you know why infinity goes on forever?
A: Because it knows Chuck Norris is waiting for it at the end.
Vote:
I got 99 problems and being upside down ain't one.
Ok wait I got 66 problems.
Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They're married.
Q: If a cowboy rides into town on Friday and three days later leaves on Friday, how does he do it?
A: The horse's name is Friday!
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Vote:
Jacob: Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school?
Leonard: Why?
Jacob: She had bright students!
One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos"
So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos"
Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said
"Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me"!
Q:Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
A:Because you can't drink and derive...
What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.