The Perfect Man
At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.
"The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company.
He must be musical.
Tell jokes.
Sing.
And stay home at night!"
An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Honey, if that's all you want,get a TV!"
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Two Alabama State Troopers were chasing a Camaro East on I-20 toward Georgia.
When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first Trooper pulled over quickly.
The rookie Trooper pulled in behind him and said, “Hey, sarge, why did you stop?”
The sarge replied, “He’s in Georgia now.
They’re an hour ahead of us, so we’ll never catch him.”
Two old guys from a senior center were sipping lemonade on the porch when one asks the other, “Ralph, I’m 92 years old and even my aches have pains.
You must be close to my age.
How are you feeling?”
Ralph says, “Like a brand new baby.”
“No kidding! Like a brand new baby?”
“Yep.
No teeth, no hair, and wet diapers.”
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A diner complained, "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!"
His waiter replied, "That's entirely possible; our cook used to be a tailor."
Yo' Mama is so skanky, she was asked to leave the OTB.
The earth is rotating because Chuck Norris is breathing.
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The Mayans predict that Chuck Norris going to roundhouse kick this earth in the year 2012.
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Chuck Norris always knows where x is.
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Yo' Mama is so ugly, when I walked past your fence, she came out barking.
Chuck Norris can pull a hat out of a rabbit.
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