Best jokes ever

Is everything expensive or I'm just poor?
Vote: has 57.16 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money
A blonde was taking the tour of a national park not long ago. The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosaur fossils had been found in the area. The blonde exclaimed, "Wow! I can't believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway!"
Vote: has 57.16 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, dinosaur, stupid, travel
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
Vote: has 57.16 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Q: Why did God create blondes? A: Because pets can't bring beer from the fridge. Q: Why did God create brunettes? A: Because the blondes couldn't either.
Vote: has 57.16 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde
What do a rattlesnake and a soft penis have in common? You can't f**k with either one.
Vote: has 57.16 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dirty
A deer hunter who was an atheist was out in the woods when suddenly a 1,000-pound deer stepped out. "Good God!" exclaimed the hunter. Suddenly, a voice from Heaven said, "I thought you don't believe in me." The hunter replied, "Up until now I didn't believe in 1,000-pound deer either."
Vote: has 57.16 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, god, hunting, religious
Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined. Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 57.16 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Facebook, internet, technology
Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.
Vote: has 57.16 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, history
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!..." Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, "You deny my existence for all of these years; teach others I don't exist; and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?" The atheist looked directly into the light "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as Christian now, but perhaps could you make the bear a Christian?" "Very well," said the voice. The light went out. The river ran again. And the sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear dropped his right paw... brought both paws together... bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful."
Vote: has 57.16 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, atheist, christian, god, life
I got 99 problems and being upside down ain't one. Ok wait I got 66 problems.
Vote: has 57.16 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, math


<<<841842843844
More jokes →
Page 841 of 1380.