My dad died on 9-11. He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
Q: How are blondes like postage stamps? A: You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. 'What are you doing dear?' 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' 'How do you know what sex they were?' The man very confidently replied, "Easy - 3 were on the beer and 2 were on the phone."
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report? In his beef case.
What do you get from a cowmedian? Cream of Wit.
The US government is throwing away millions of unused stamps with pictures of favorite lawyers on them. The people that use them don’t know which side to spit on!
What is height of Fashion? Dhoti with a zip.
Money can’t buy happiness, but it can rent it for a couple of hours.
What do you call a big white bear with a hole in his middle? A polo bear.
What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy? A Saddle Light Dish.