A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can skydive indoors.
A man was shipwrecked with his dog and a sheep on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere. Everytime the man moved close to the sheep, his dog would snarl and growl at him. One day while walking the island he discovered a lovely naked lady who also had just become marooned. "Finally, some company!" he thought. While sitting on the shore and the watching the sunset with his new female friend, he slowly leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Hey, could you go walk the dog?"
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
Q: What do you call a horse that plays the violin in a musical? A: Fiddler on the hoof.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Q: Who hangs out with musicians but isn't a musician? A: Drummers.
Yo' Mama is so dirty, she has to use Right Guard and Left Guard.
Yo' Mama is like a heavyweight boxer: a few licks, a few blows, and she's back to her corner.
Yo' Mama is so poor, she only goes to the grocery store for free samples.