Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant?
He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny.
What do you call a big white bear with a hole in his middle?
A polo bear.
What do you call a lion wearing a cravat and a flower in its mane?
A dandy lion.
Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.
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When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
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Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
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If you want a list of Chuck Norri's enemies, just check the extinct species list.
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Chuck Norris was the reason E.T. went home.
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A scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion.
The scientist made some quick calculations, he said “it’s no good trying to outrun it, its catching up”.
The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied “I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to outrun you !”
Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
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