An ancient Chinese prophecy states that a man will be created to protect the lands from all evil. Chuck Norris killed that man.
Chuck Norris can turn a vegan into a cannibal.
Chuck Norris stopped playing golf after that unfortunate incident with the dinosaurs.
Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.
Chuck Norris can dunk a basketball using his feet.
Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
Out of 500 fights Chuck Norris has won 600.
Chuck Norris can see all 50 states from his house.
Chuck Norris can go Platinum on a Blank CD.
The burning bush that Moses spoke of was actually Chuck Norris's beard!