Santa Claus asks Chuck Norris for presents.
If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris can simply walk into Mordor.
Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
Chuck Norris can actually punch you in the soul.
If Chuck Norris misses a roundhouse-kick, you will still die.
Chuck Norris once beat the sun at a staring contest.
Chuck Norris can get a Black-Jack with one card.
The universe expands because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.