Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
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An ancient Chinese prophecy states that a man will be created to protect the lands from all evil.
Chuck Norris killed that man.
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Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
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The ground hog only pokes his head out to check for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
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Chuck Norris can piss into Gale force winds.
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Chuck Norris can lie honestly.
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Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
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Chuck Norris can do push-ups in a sit-up position.
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Chuck Norris gave Iceman frostbite.
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