The best Chuck Norris jokes

Stores accept Monopoly money from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.
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Chuck Norris does not cleanse himself with your everyday shower. He uses Meteor Showers.
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Chuck Norris stopped playing golf after that unfortunate incident with the dinosaurs.
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Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
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Chuck Norris dosn't need a gun, he points an says pow!
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According to CNN, Chuck Norris was commanding the SEAL team in Afghanistan. When Osama found that out, he shot himself in the head.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an attitude. He has a personality you can't handle.
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Chuck Norris can play PS3 games - on PS1
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Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving. He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
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