There is only one award higher than the medal of Honor: The Chuck Norris Medal of Roundhouse. No mortal man has ever earned it.
Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself. We call it The Big Bang.
Chuck Norris can make ice cubes with a microwave.
Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
Chuck Norris is the only man who can put M&M's in alphabetical order.
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
Chuck Norris can actually punch you in the soul.
If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
Chuck Norris called McDonald's through the television.