Chuck Norris can eat food while his mouth is closed.
Chuck Norris' feminine side is manlier than the manliest man's manly side.
If only telemarketers would have the balls to call Chuck Norris... Then none of us would have to put up with them again.
Many years ago Chuck Norris and a brown bear had a fight. The loser had to go live in the north pole.
Chuck Norris can facebook through a calculator.
Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.
Chuck Norris has no need to walk. The universe simply moves around him.
Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
Chuck Norris can drive a solar-powered car at night.
There is no use crying over split milk, unless it's Chuck Norris' milk.