Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
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Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.
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Water holds its breath when Chuck Norris is in below the surface.
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Chuck Norris can mute silence.
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Superman's weakness is kryptonite, kryptonite's weakness is Chuck Norris.
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Where does the devil go when he dies?
He goes to Chuck Norris for an eternity of roundhouse kicks.
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Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
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Chuck Norris gave Iceman frostbite.
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Do you know why Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow?
You just don't follow him that close!
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Chuck Norris can kill with blank bullets.
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