Chuck Norris can send an e-mail with a pencil.
Chuck Norris doesn't always drink beer, but when he does he has the dos equis guy serve it to him in a dress.
Fire trucks and ambulances pull to the shoulder when chuck Norris drives by.
Chuck Norris has a six-pack on his chin.
Chuck Norris doesen't fly, gravity collapses around him.
When Chuck Norris visits Africa, the animals are required to stay in their cars.
Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
Willy Wonka gave an everlasting gobstopper to Chuck Norris. The flavor lasted 2.3 seconds.
Chuck Norris once starred in Wheel of Fortune. The last twenty nine minutes were spent in an awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.
Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.