Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
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Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
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Chuck Norris got into Cambridge... without any qualifications.
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Gravity is Space's way of trying to keep Chuck Norris away from it.
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Chuck Norris can blow up things, without a bomb.
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Do you know why Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow?
You just don't follow him that close!
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Chuck Norris can kill with blank bullets.
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Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact?
A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
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Ed and Lorraine Warren have the doll Anabelle locked in a glass case in their basement, a priest comes there every week to whisper Chuck Norris's name in its ear.
The doll locked itself in the case upon first hearing the name.
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The wrecking ball in the Miley Cyrus video isn't a wrecking ball it's one of Chuck Norris testicles.
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