Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
Chuck Norris can speak Spanish in three different languages.
If Chuck Norris drinks too much, he doesn't throw up, he throws down!
When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.
Chuck Norris can drive to the moon... on foot.
Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants. Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.