Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can startle his own reflection.
Chuck Norris is ambidextrous. He can do Roundhouse kicks with his left and right leg. All at the same time.
Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
The Playstation Network is down because Chuck Norris unplugged his PS3.
Once, an entire country disagreed with Chuck Norris. It's now known as the moon
Sticks and stones may break your bones but Chuck Norris' fists will kill you.
Chuck Norris said "come on" and "on" came.
Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.