The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris' beard has it's own Social Security number.
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Only Chuck Norris can cross the "Beyond" section of Bed, Bath and Beyond store.
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If Chuck were in the movie Nightmare On Elm Street then it would be renamed nightmare on Chuck Norris Street, cuz nobody dared to get near him.
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Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
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Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
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Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
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When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
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Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
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Some say Chuck once sneezed a rhino inside out.
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Chuck Norris is why we don't need no stinking badgers.
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