The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.
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Chuck Norris is a fact.
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Gravity is Space's way of trying to keep Chuck Norris away from it.
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Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
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Chuck Norris once toboggoned down Mount Everest and then sprinted back up cuz he realized he lost his mitten.
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Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
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Chuck Norris invented the question mark... so he could say the sentence "Do you want to die slowly of fast?"
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
The boogie man checks his closet at night for Chuck Norris.
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If Chuck Norris jumped off the Empire State Building, your mom would tell you to do it too.
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The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
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More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, life