The best Chuck Norris jokes

Water holds its breath when Chuck Norris is in below the surface.
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Only once in history has Chuck Norris snapped his fingers, scientists call it The Big Bang.
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Chuck Norris can freeze water using a toaster.
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Chuck Norris is not 70 years old. At age 60, he began getting younger. This is why he is actually only 50.
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Q: Why are there prairies? A: Because Chuck Norris scared the trees away.
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Chuck Norris is so powerful he can jumpstart a car by attaching the cables to his chest hair.
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When you insult Chuck Norris, the next thing you are going to see is a bunch of halos.
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Chuck Norris has no need for a TV remote. He stares at his television, until it changes the channel.
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Ali Baba said "Open sesame" to open the secret entrance to the treasure, but little did he know that saying "Open Chuck Norris" opens all doors.
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Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
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