Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Chuck Norris does not need to freeze water to make ice, he just stares at water and scares it stiff.
Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush, he beats up the bush.
Chuck Norris once stared death in the face... Death pissed his pants.
Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse. He uses a lion.
There are no such things as Chuck Norris haters...just people with short lives.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.