Chuck Norris commited suicide, and lived.
Chuck Norris uses flatbed trailers as roller skates.
Chuck Norris can throw a house through a window.
Chuck Norris is the only weapon allowed through airport security
Chuck Norris once went sky diving, he did not use a parachute. The spot he landed on is now known as the Grand Canyon.
When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.
Chuck Norris can spit through bulletproof glass.
Chuck Norris once stared death in the face... Death pissed his pants.
Chuck Norris does not need to freeze water to make ice, he just stares at water and scares it stiff.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS. Chuck Norris decides where he is.