Chuck Norris once stared death in the face... Death pissed his pants.
Chuck Norris can win a Grammy from coughing.
Demons don't hunt Chuck Norris... He is hunting them!
Chuck Norris is so awesome, he can dodge rain.
Chuck Norris uses a gun to be humane.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris doesn't expect the unexpected. He knows the unexpected.
Chuck Norris can get a strike in bowling using a ping-pong ball.
Chuck Norris can flip a coin and make it land on both sides at the same time.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.