The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Vote: has 78.15 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris does not need to freeze water to make ice, he just stares at water and scares it stiff.
Vote: has 78.15 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush, he beats up the bush.
Vote: has 78.15 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris once stared death in the face... Death pissed his pants.
Vote: has 78.15 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
Vote: has 78.14 % from 189 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
Vote: has 78.13 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

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The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Vote: has 78.11 % from 94 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids, Santa
Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse. He uses a lion.
Vote: has 78.11 % from 94 votes. Send joke:

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There are no such things as Chuck Norris haters...just people with short lives.
Vote: has 78.00 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

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There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Vote: has 77.97 % from 77 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather