The best Chuck Norris jokes

Who do you think would win in a fight? Godzilla or King Kong Neither, Chuck Norris doesn't let his pets fight!
Vote: has 81.56 % from 268 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris doesn't tell lies. He changes facts.
Vote: has 81.56 % from 370 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
Vote: has 81.47 % from 212 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris doesn't need to breathe, the oxygen comes to him.
Vote: has 81.28 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris once made a crippled man run away.
Vote: has 81.28 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris knows how to kill you in more ways than you know how to die.
Vote: has 81.28 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
If you rate this kickass, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.
Vote: has 81.27 % from 1583 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, music
Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids. The results came back positive. When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
Vote: has 81.21 % from 78 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.
Vote: has 81.21 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
Vote: has 81.17 % from 166 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, Chuck Norris