Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS. Chuck Norris decides where he is.
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
Chuck Norris runs until the Treadmill gets tired.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Chuck Norris doesn't check under his bed for monsters, monsters check on top of the bed to see if Chuck Norris is sleeping.
Bruce Springsteen calls Chuck Norris 'The Boss'.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
The Statue of Liberty is alive, but Chuck Norris told her not to move.
Chuck Norris isn't a good shot, his bullets just know better than to miss.