Chuck Norris can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it...
Chuck Norris uses a stunt double during crying scenes.
Chuck Norris doesn't tell lies. He changes facts.
Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you? Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
Who do you think would win in a fight? Godzilla or King Kong Neither, Chuck Norris doesn't let his pets fight!
The Grinch stole Christmas until Chuck Norris ordered him to return it.
When Chuck Norris finds fools' gold it automatically turns into real gold. Chuck Norris is nobody's fool.
The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.