The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Vote: has 81.38 % from 168 votes. Send joke:

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The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
Vote: has 81.36 % from 283 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids. The results came back positive. When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
Vote: has 81.32 % from 111 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris was once shot. The bullet died.
Vote: has 81.25 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris built the hospital in which he was born.
Vote: has 81.23 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 81.22 % from 328 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.
Vote: has 81.21 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
Vote: has 81.18 % from 129 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris protects his body guards.
Vote: has 81.16 % from 110 votes. Send joke:

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Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Chuck Norris' glare will liquify your kidney.
Vote: has 81.11 % from 97 votes. Send joke:

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