Chuck Norris is the meaning of life. Too bad he's also the meaning of death.
The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
Chuck Norris can play the saxophone... while holding his breath.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
Chuck Norris can smell sound and hear touch.
Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him, so he tracked down nothing and killed it.
Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
When Chuck Norris has a bone to pick, it's always the jawbone.
The Sun is Chuck Norris' camp fire.