Chuck Norris once walked down a street with his fists in his pockets. He was then arrested for concealing two deadly weapons.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Chuck Norris once spelled the entire alphabet using only M&Ms.
Even Google can't find Chuck Norris.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Chuck Norris was bitten by a werewolf. When full moon came, the werewolf turned into Chuck Norris.
Eminem says "I'm not afraid". Chuck Norris says "I love the way you lie"
Chuck Norris never has a deja vu. No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to breathe, the oxygen comes to him.
Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all-time because Chuck Norris never played.