You don't invite Chuck Norris. He invites himself.
Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
Chuck Norris can pop every kernel in the bag without burning one.
Chuck Norris one checked the Library of Congress for typos during his lunch hour.
Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower in the morning to freshen up.
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
Spider-man can crawl on walls and ceilings, Chuck Norris can crawl on water.
Chuck Norris went to every planet in the galaxy. That is why there is no life on any of them.
When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.