The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris can flip a coin and make it land on both sides at the same time.
Vote: has 82.65 % from 63 votes. Send joke:
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The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
Vote: has 82.65 % from 99 votes. Send joke:
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Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Vote: has 82.64 % from 207 votes. Send joke:
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Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you? Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
Vote: has 82.64 % from 513 votes. Send joke:
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Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Chuck Norris' glare will liquify your kidney.
Vote: has 82.62 % from 187 votes. Send joke:
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When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off
Vote: has 82.58 % from 592 votes. Send joke:
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Chuck Norris met an exclamation point and punched it in the face. We now have questions.
Vote: has 82.55 % from 232 votes. Send joke:
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Vote: has 82.52 % from 372 votes. Send joke:
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Chuck Norris shot a man to death with an unloaded nerf gun.
Vote: has 82.48 % from 159 votes. Send joke:
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Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
Vote: has 82.47 % from 218 votes. Send joke:
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