The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Vote: has 81.30 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

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Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Chuck Norris' glare will liquify your kidney.
Vote: has 81.28 % from 136 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
Vote: has 81.23 % from 191 votes. Send joke:

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The Universe is not expanding. It's running away from Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 81.21 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 81.12 % from 367 votes. Send joke:

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Three seconds after Chuck Norris was shot, the bullet came out screaming.
Vote: has 81.11 % from 116 votes. Send joke:

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Aliens believe in Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 80.99 % from 140 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris met an exclamation point and punched it in the face. We now have questions.
Vote: has 80.96 % from 152 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris installed his own home security system. It's called "Chuck Norris."
Vote: has 80.89 % from 127 votes. Send joke:

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When nature calls Chuck Norris hangs up.
Vote: has 80.85 % from 193 votes. Send joke:

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