The best Chuck Norris jokes

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
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Chuck Norris was asked if he would be running for President, after a chuckle, he stated, nothing makes him run.
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Chuck Norris couldn't act in Titanic because he would have saved everyone.
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Chuck Norris once pushed a door that said,"pull."
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Chuck Norris can make a snowman with sand.
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Every 5 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone dies of Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, time
Chuck Norris can make a rock grow.
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Chuck Norris can tie your hands behind your back with both hands tied behind his back.
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Ozzy Ozbourne once bit the head off a bat. Not one to be outdone, Chuck Norris bit the head off Batman!
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More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, music
When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone