Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever.
That man still holds the record for most bones broken.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.
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Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
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Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
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The list of names at the end of every Chuck Norris film is the list of people he's killed.
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Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
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The world did not have a tilt in its axis until Chuck Norris stubbed his toe on the North Pole.
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Q: What happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object?
A: Chuck Norris is clapping.
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Chuck Norris once jumped. Now we have seven Continents and a tilted planet.
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Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.
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