Chuck Norris doesn't think he's better than everyone, everyone thinks Chuck Norris is better than them.
Chuck Norris can stab a knife with a man.
To be roundhouse-kicked by Chuck Norris means getting his autograph.
Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.
Chuck Norris got a flame and froze it.
Chuck Norris once climbed the empire state building and roundhouse kicked the human spider off the top.
Chuck Norris blows out trick candles.
Chuck Norris tried to shave with Darth Vaders's light saber, but the light went out as soon as it realized Chuck Norris was there.
Chuck Norris won a guitar battle with a violin.
Chuck Norris didn't go to school to learn, he went to teach.