Chuck Noris can make grapes from wine.
Chuck Norris can give you a wet willie with a dry finger.
Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
Chuck Norris can speak Spanish in three different languages.
The Grimm Reaper lost his job the day Chuck Norris was born.
Chuck Norris has clicked the unclickable button... twice
Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy. "There were no survivors."
Chuck Norris once saw a video that takes 24 hours to watch... He saw it 3 times a day.
Chuck Norris can lie honestly.