The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
Chuck Norris beat Super Mario Galaxie 2 in the big dipper... before Nintendo was invented.
Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine. He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself. Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
The list of names at the end of every Chuck Norris film is the list of people he's killed.
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row. The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
Chuck Norris was born Sept. 1 1945. World War 2 ended Sept. 2 1945. What a coincidence.
The Grinch stole Christmas until Chuck Norris ordered him to return it.
A black hole is created when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks a sun.
Chuck Norris is so awesome, he can dodge rain.