The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
Chuck Norris beat Super Mario Galaxie 2 in the big dipper... before Nintendo was invented.
Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine. He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself. Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
The list of names at the end of every Chuck Norris film is the list of people he's killed.
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row. The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
The Grinch stole Christmas until Chuck Norris ordered him to return it.
Chuck Norris doesn't flirt all he says is NOW.
A black hole is created when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks a sun.
Chuck Norris is so awesome, he can dodge rain.