Chuck Norris doesen't fly, gravity collapses around him.
When Chuck Norris visits Africa, the animals are required to stay in their cars.
Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
Chuck Norris once starred in Wheel of Fortune. The last twenty nine minutes were spent in an awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.
Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burnt; that would be a foolish thing for the sun to do.
Chuck Norris can flush a port-a-potty.
Chuck Norris has a basement in his treehouse.
When Chuck Norris kills time, that'll be the end of it.
Chuck Norris doesn't take the cake, the cake sees Chuck Norris and begs to be devoured.
When Chuck Norris punches someone in the stomach they get hit in the back of the head.